And if Dean perceives someone "abandoning" him, it's a reflection on his failure and not a result of others' desires. I think in a little twisted way--even though clearly Dean thinks about Sam's well being and is literally selfless in a self-sacrificing way--it's all about himself, Dean, subconsciously in his own head

YES!!! Dean projects like nobody's business!!

it speaks to a great mistrust Sam has of himself and in his ability to keep people he cares about safe, something that he sees as a personal failure even though it's not entirely his fault. And walking around with that sense of fear of failure on your shoulders is self-fulfilling--you tend to over-react/react/run when it may not always be necessary.

This, too!! And it just cuts me to the core. Can you hear the sound of my heart? It is still breaking!!

Thanks for a great discussion. You may want to consider posting at spn_heavymeta as I'm sure others at that comm would be interested.

Thanks for joining in the discussion! I don't know if anything I ever have to say would be considered "heavy meta." Most times I can't move beyond flail and reaction to even get to meta. Is it a friendly comm? I rather enjoy friendly discussion but I know how fandom can sometimes be a bit unfriendly which takes all the fun right out of it.